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18.2.10

The Heart of Man

I am blown away by the response to my last post! It's encouraging to know that there are so many other women out there who read my blog and want to take this step to self re-discovery alongside me. I'm so excited!

I haven't had a whole ton of time to read over the past couple of days... and I'm sure this won't be the last time it's that way! You mommies out there know how it goes ;) And with my baby girl cutting her first tooth, things have been a little on the crazy side.

However, I read a little snippet here and there and the portion I read was mainly centered around the idea of how men play into our role as captivating women. It spoke about a man's heart, and the contrast between their hearts and our own as women.

Have any of you ever read "Wild at Heart"? I read it in high school, and it was a very enlightening read! It explains so much about the male race that we oftentimes just write off or even scoff at! (Wild at Heart was written by the same author who wrote "Captivating")

Basically, just as much as we as women are programmed to daydream about being princesses in a castle being rescued, men are programmed to want to be that rescuer. Genius that it works that way, right? It's evident in the way that little boys sword fight or play with paintball guns... it's how they connect, prove themselves, find affirmation, etc. But just as much as they love fighting, they love having something to fight for.

And guess what that is?? US!!!! Men love having a beauty to fight for! A damsel in distress...  I love that we are the object of men's affection in that way. A holy affection. Not the purely sexual, objectified affection that the world screams at us on a daily basis. There is still a holiness in man and woman's sexual and love relationship. Don't let the world rob that from you. (I'm sure there will be more on that in chapters to come.)

I wanted to type out a portion of the book for you guys that I just kept re-reading over and over again becuase it spoke volumes to me:

"Can you see how the desires of a man's heart and the desires of a woman's heart were at least meant to fit beautifully together? A woman in the presence of a good man--a real man--loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero... The longings God has written deep in your heart are telling you something essential about what it means to be a woman, and the life he meant for you to live. Now we know--many of those desires have gone unmet, or been assaulted, or simply so long neglected, that most women end up living two lives. On the surface, we are busy and efficient, professional, even. We are getting by. On the inside women lose themselves in a fantasy world, or in cheap novels, or we give ourselves over to food or some other addiction to numb the ache of our hearts. But your heart is still there, crying out to be set free, to find the life your desires tell you of. You can find that life if you are willing to embark on a great adventure."

"This is what we are inviting you to... Not to learn one more set of standards you fail to meet. Not toward a new set of rules to live by and things you ought to do. Something far, far better--a journey of the heart. A journey toward the restoration and release of the woman you always longed to be. This book is not about what you ought  to do or who you ought to be. It's about disovering who you already are, as a woman. A woman who at her core was made for romance, made to play an irreplaceable role in a shared adventure, and who really does possess a beauty all her own to unveil. The woman God had in mind when he made Eve... and when he made you. Glorious, powerful and captivating."



So, ladies... that is our Captivating study for today! What are your thoughts?
  • What things in your husband's life have you noticed that reveal his innate manhood? Things that might annoy you or frustrate you, that actually are just your husband trying to express his God-given desires? For me, I used to get frustrated when my husband would take off for sports nights with the guys. I felt that he should want to be home more than he would want to be out playing football or basketball, etc. But I realized, that that is his way of expressing himself as a man. My husband is GREAT at sports, and he feels very affirmed when he is on the field. People comment on how good he is, and it's obvious to anyone who sees him play. that affirmation is so powerful for him and that football field is his battlefield.
  • What fears do you have about discovering your true womanhood? I'm scared of discovering that I'm betraying myself, in a sense. Of discovering that I've allowed some of my dreams to die without good reason. I'm scared of discovering that I betrayed that little girl in that pink dress who twirled around in complete bliss. I'm terrified that I've lost myself somewhere along the route of living my life.
  • What are you most excited about taking this journey? I know that God is going to do big things through this journey in my life. I know that I am going to re-discover some parts of myself that I didn't even know needed to be rediscovered. I am excited because I know that by walking through this journey of understanding myself as a girl, and now as a woman... will help me be a better mother to my daughter so that I can help her discover her womanhood as she grows.

2 comments:

Leigh said...

Oh wow. I'm totally convicted and God used you to help me tonight! I have been bummed because Andy went to the gym after Norah went to bed and I was feeling sorry for myself and lonely. (Truth is, he waited till after she went to bed because I have asked him before to stay so he can help with her in the evening. He went on a walk with us, and he offered to let me go to the gym instead. So he tried. But when he did then go, I all of a sudden started feeling lonely and left out and all of that.) UGG. But then I saw what you wrote about bryan and sports nights. And you're right, for him this is something he loves, and exercise for him is about discipline, reaching goals, competing with himself, and getting better. He tries so hard to stick with working out. Right now he is trying to improve his mile time in running, and he is trying to add more miles on to his run. We talk about it and I know how important it is to him. It is a part of his masculinity. I need to give him that freedom, not just dwell on how mad I am! I know he loves me and I need to give him that space.
Thanks Sis, God used you to give me JUST what I needed tonight.

Carlee and Jared Payton said...

I love your blog Claire! You are so encouraging! I wanted to tell you that I have chosen you as a recipient for a blog award. Check it out over at my blog!