Where Have I Been? Pressing the Reset Button...

It's been a while. So where have I been?

Not far, actually.

To be honest, blogging has just felt like another box on my checklist lately. And that's not what I meant for this to be. I started this blog to be a sweet release. A place for me to come and share my thoughts, my rants, my life. But lately life has been sweeping me up in its crazy, swirling wind.

I missed TWO doctors appointments this week. TWO! On different days for different kids. My brain came out with my babies I think. I also shrunk my favorite shirt. 

Being a mother of two seems to get harder rather than easier. Although I love both of my girls to death, Quiet moments have become few and far between. 2 years and 6 months.... I do have my hands full.

Add in to the mix that my sister has been in town from South Africa so I've been soaking up this time with her... and that we flew to Minnesota for a weekend to be with family... and whew. This momma has been running circles!

Today I decided we needed a day at home. Peyton seemed to agree because she reluctantly crawled out of bed around 11. Yeah, you heard me. She's 2 going on 16. 

We've been going, going, going and I've been realizing that sometimes we just need to stop. And by we, I mainly mean me. I needed to be home today. I needed to wear my jammies until 3pm. I needed to pour a piping hot cup of coffee and sit down with my baby in my arms and look out the window at the breezy backyard. I needed to scrub my bathroom with my ipod blaring and re-organize my daughters messy room with the birds chirping out my window.

Sometimes stopping isn't just about relaxing. Sometimes (okay most of the time) as a m
other, stopping is about dishes, laundry, vacuuming and window cleaning. Because sometimes those are the things that relax us, focus us and ground us. As keeper of my home, sometimes I need to just BE home.

I've been trying a new trick on myself. Because, I'll be honest, I like to complain. Especially while doing housework. Especially while picking up my husbands dirty work clothes off the bathroom floor.... and wiping his stubble off the bathroom sink after he finishes shaving his face... and washing his dishes that he left in the sink.... oh AND... (cough, whoops, ahem) sorry, right, my trick.............. when I feel my heart start to wander to that place of complaint... I reach for my ipod... I click over to my podcasts and select the Focus on the Family series called "Focus on Marriage" after one (or sometimes more, cough) of their 6 minute heart to heart talks on loving your husband, it's like someone hit the reset button on my heart. Suddenly I'm down on my knees scrubbing the floors while singing a love song...

Sometimes as mothers and wives, we can lose control of our good temperament very quickly when we let our minds and hearts wander to places of complaint and contempt. We have to learn to curb those emotions and press that reset button. We've all heard the phrases, "Happy wife, Happy life." or "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" (I'm sure there's more too!) we can laugh those phrases off, or we can take them to heart. Are we setting the climate of our home to happiness? Are we loving our husbands and our children as we clean up after them? Or are we cursing them under our breath? Believe me I've done both. BUT! By learning to reset my heart, I am learning to be a better wife and mother. And at the end of the day, this is my job, and I want it to be a job WELL DONE.

Do you need to press the reset button on your heart today?


Rae Nolt said...

I needed this today!!! SO tired. And this pregnancy is taking it's toll on my body. And my house is a mess....:) I DO need to press reset!! Thanks for the words today!!

Emily said...

That's a great idea that I'm sure a lot of moms/wives could do to refocus and not turn bitter.

I think I'll tuck this little nugget of information away in my back pocket for future days! thanks!

I hope things settle down for you soon!

Tatiana said...

Girl it really does sound like you're in desperate need of a break with just yourself and some girlfriends. I honestly don't know how people like you can have a toddler and infant, and not end up in the loony bin. Seriously! I think that's our plan too, but I'm already freaking out about it.
I have never heard of the "focus on marriage" radio. I def. need to give that a try, especially when the hubs works those ridiculously crazy overtime hrs which make me mad for some reason until I see the paycheck.

Callie Nicole said...

I love your "trick"! Not compalining is something I have been trying to work on - I thik I should check out that podcast too!

Sarah Heineman said...

Oooh Claire... so glad you posted this! Love your trick... that'll come in handy for me, I'm sure! And we just got back home to MN on Sunday at midnight after being away for a few days! My Peyton had the same idea as yours and slept till 11 as well the day after we got home :) and I loved every second of staying in my PJ's that day!

Melissa Reiner said...

Some days, I have to hit the reset button a billion times! My tendency is to go ahead with a bad attitude if the day started out wrong. It's such a challenge to stop midday and just make myself get my heart to where it needs to be. Your trick is a great idea! Thanks! I also like to look back on old Xanga entries as a reminder of all I've been through and the blessings that the Lord has poured out on my family. Things like those silly surveys we take about our husbands and children are great to re-read to help bring things into focus. And as you mentioned your iPod - just music in general sure can make all the difference in the world :) I always admire how much you strive to correct your thinking whenever it starts to head in the wrong direction.

And for the record, I had a day a lot like yours yesterday. We NEED those days.

Your girls are SO precious. I can't even believe how old Peyton is. She needs to start some classes on teaching other kids how to sleep in :)

Julie S. said...

I totally needed to do this the other day. Things have been so busy and the things I need hubs to do for me are just going to the bottom of his list. I need to remember that he does all that he does for us all, and not to be so impatient. Great post!

Megan said...

Hi there! I stumbled upon your blog today and am so glad I did!

This was a great post! It is too easy to get caught up focusing on the negative and sometimes you have to really work on focusing on the positive. I didn't know about the focus on the family podcasts, so I'm really glad you shared them with us! I need to check it out!

New follower here :)

FemminaDaVinci said...

Great post. I have the same gripes with my husband, and it took a powerful trip yo a friends church on a day the preacher just happened to be speaking on marriage and forgiveness. I'll have to try the podcasts out.

Thanks for following. I'm now following you as well.

Carly Anne said...

That "reset" time is so totally vital. I think the thing we have to understand is that we are always going to have to "reset" every few weeks or few months or whatever. Being a "happy wife" is not a one-time fix. It's a continual process.

Wonderful post.

Haley Galloway said...

I am SO glad I found your blog through her! A woman after my own heart.

Funny how our hearts were on the same "page" at around the same time. I can already tell we have a lot in common. This is why I love the blogging world.

Cannot wait to hear more from you, friend.

Kara @ Just1Step said...

Visiting from Callie's blog...I LOVE what you've said in this post. It hits home for me. When you said this: "Sometimes stopping isn't just about relaxing. Sometimes (okay most of the time) as a m
other, stopping is about dishes, laundry, vacuuming and window cleaning. Because sometimes those are the things that relax us, focus us and ground us. As keeper of my home, sometimes I need to just BE home", I was like holy cow that is exactly what I've wanted to explain to my husband a million times but could never put into words. And I love your idea of listening to focus on marriage podcasts...that is brilliant. By the way, in regards to complaints and feeling negative, I put a link to another great post in my blog the other day, you might like it:

I love your writing. Keep it up (when you have time and feel the push and don't have a million other things to do :) ).