Guest Post!!!

The wonderful Beka from a Blog by B* asked me to write a guest post for her blog about one of my absolute favorite things........ my handsome husband! I'm so glad she asked me to write this post, and I thoroughly enjoyed sitting down and writing all about this amazing man who spends his days loving me! 

Head on over HERE to read the post!

It's a whole lotta LOVE and it's just in time to get you all sapped up for Valentine's Day ;) Oh, and while you're over there, spend some time browsing Beka's blog! She's an incredible woman of God who has made some inspiring commitments in her life. She encourages me every time she posts and her blog is DEFINITELY one worth following! 

"Talk Time"

In the past couple of weeks, Bryan and I have instituted a new "tradition" (for lack of a better word) in our marriage. We call it talk time.

Our talk time is 30 minutes every day that is set aside for TALKING. (that's it... no code word hoopla here... we seriously do talk!) And ONLY talking. I'm meaning, sit on the couch, cup of coffee, facing each other, turning off the baby monitors, and FOCUSED, INTENTIONAL talk time! It's everyday from 9:00pm-9:30pm and it's SACRED.

Bryan works a 40 hour a week job, in addition to preparing our new home (we are moving into a fixer upper this fall and Bryan--my incredibly sexy tool belt wearing hunk of man--has been doing all the work himself--more to come on the house later though!!!) and I'm busy with the kids 24/7.....so needless to say getting intentional time to talk had become a thing of the past. We were finding that we were arguing more simply because we both felt as though we weren't being heard. It all boiled down to the fact that we had no time to discuss the things that were both on our agendas and on our hearts. There were constantly issues coming up that we were both too tired to tackle or too busy to discuss. We didn't have the time to talk them through.....So we determined to MAKE TIME.

I can't even begin to express the incredible impact "Talk Time" has had on our marriage already! No matter what stress I go through during my day I know that I have an outlet each evening with my husband. A place I can go to share my heart, to be heard and to be understood.

It's funny, if I had read this post as a newlywed I would've been like "Girl, you have some serious issues if you think it's good that you talk to your husband for 30 minutes a day!" But now that I have 2 kids and a husband who is essentially working 2 jobs, I know just how precious those 30 minutes are!

Bryan and I fight less, we laugh more and we understand each other better since beginning our Talk Time routine. Our marriage is in a better place. It is so easy to allow frustrations to build up in a marriage. To build grudges and erect walls in places they don't belong. Talk Time has been an outlet for us. A forum where we feel free to be honest about the things that are troubling us. I constantly look forward to our nightly Talk Time and Bryan does as well.

I would like to encourage those of you who are reading this post to consider starting up a Talk Time plan for your own marriage! Here a couple tips for getting yourselves started:

1) Set a time "limit" on it so that you both know what the expectation is. (I personally think 30 minutes is a great amount of time.)

2) Create a list of "To Do" Topics... the things that you always have in the back of your head that you need to discuss with your spouse but just don't typically get time to.

3) Allow yourself to anticipate this time! Try to get the housework done and have the kids in bed before beginning your talk time so that you can be FULLY engaged. Brew a pot of decaf flavored coffee and clear off the couch so you have a comfy place to sit and talk.

4) LISTEN just as much as you SPEAK.

If you already have something like this in your marriage, I seriously would love to hear about it. Communication is so KEY in having a successful marriage and I love hearing peoples tips on keeping it real in the midst of the crazy parenting years. Also let me know if you start up a Talk Time of your own! Marriage is so close to God's heart and the seeds we sow into our marriages are seeds sown into the eternal Kingdom of God. I truly believe that!

Blessings on your marriages! Oh, and enjoy your holiday weekend!

Where Have I Been? Pressing the Reset Button...

It's been a while. So where have I been?

Not far, actually.

To be honest, blogging has just felt like another box on my checklist lately. And that's not what I meant for this to be. I started this blog to be a sweet release. A place for me to come and share my thoughts, my rants, my life. But lately life has been sweeping me up in its crazy, swirling wind.

I missed TWO doctors appointments this week. TWO! On different days for different kids. My brain came out with my babies I think. I also shrunk my favorite shirt. 

Being a mother of two seems to get harder rather than easier. Although I love both of my girls to death, Quiet moments have become few and far between. 2 years and 6 months.... I do have my hands full.


Add in to the mix that my sister has been in town from South Africa so I've been soaking up this time with her... and that we flew to Minnesota for a weekend to be with family... and whew. This momma has been running circles!

Today I decided we needed a day at home. Peyton seemed to agree because she reluctantly crawled out of bed around 11. Yeah, you heard me. She's 2 going on 16. 

We've been going, going, going and I've been realizing that sometimes we just need to stop. And by we, I mainly mean me. I needed to be home today. I needed to wear my jammies until 3pm. I needed to pour a piping hot cup of coffee and sit down with my baby in my arms and look out the window at the breezy backyard. I needed to scrub my bathroom with my ipod blaring and re-organize my daughters messy room with the birds chirping out my window.

Sometimes stopping isn't just about relaxing. Sometimes (okay most of the time) as a m
other, stopping is about dishes, laundry, vacuuming and window cleaning. Because sometimes those are the things that relax us, focus us and ground us. As keeper of my home, sometimes I need to just BE home.

I've been trying a new trick on myself. Because, I'll be honest, I like to complain. Especially while doing housework. Especially while picking up my husbands dirty work clothes off the bathroom floor.... and wiping his stubble off the bathroom sink after he finishes shaving his face... and washing his dishes that he left in the sink.... oh AND... (cough, whoops, ahem) sorry, right, my trick.............. when I feel my heart start to wander to that place of complaint... I reach for my ipod... I click over to my podcasts and select the Focus on the Family series called "Focus on Marriage" after one (or sometimes more, cough) of their 6 minute heart to heart talks on loving your husband, it's like someone hit the reset button on my heart. Suddenly I'm down on my knees scrubbing the floors while singing a love song...

Sometimes as mothers and wives, we can lose control of our good temperament very quickly when we let our minds and hearts wander to places of complaint and contempt. We have to learn to curb those emotions and press that reset button. We've all heard the phrases, "Happy wife, Happy life." or "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" (I'm sure there's more too!) we can laugh those phrases off, or we can take them to heart. Are we setting the climate of our home to happiness? Are we loving our husbands and our children as we clean up after them? Or are we cursing them under our breath? Believe me I've done both. BUT! By learning to reset my heart, I am learning to be a better wife and mother. And at the end of the day, this is my job, and I want it to be a job WELL DONE.

Do you need to press the reset button on your heart today?

Setting Goals

I think we all have a pretty good idea of who (or what) we DON'T want to be. But I know that I personally am guilty on not focusing enough on who I DO want to be. It's easy to feel guilty or get down on myself when I'm not the kind of wife and mother I truly desire to be. Last night, I sat down and wrote myself some goals about the type of woman I want to be. I hope that keeping them in the forefront of my heart will motivate me to achieve them. Every single one.


I WANT TO BE A mother WHO:

• is slow to anger
• is always open armed
• is loving
• is full of praise for her children
• is a gentle but firm discipliner
• is a positive example of a joyful spirit
• is a leader and teacher in the ways of salvation & godliness
• is a safe place for my children
• is not thrown off balance by changing seasons

I WANT TO BE A wife WHO:

• has a gentle & quiet spirit
• is always quick to LISTEN, to LOVE & to FORGIVE
• is slow to anger
• is a listening ear
• is a safe place for my husband to let down his guard
• is 100% given to my marriage
• is always ready to love & to be loved
• takes joy & pride in keeping my home to the best of my ability
• is a bright ray of sunshine in my husband’s world
• NEVER speaks badly about my husband to anyone EVER
• is my husband’s biggest cheerleader in EVERY endeavor he pursues

 What are some of your goals for the type of woman (or man) you desire to become?

The Best Birthday EVER!

Thursday was my birthday. I turned 22. Wow. Can I just say that I truly feel solidly into my twenties now? It feels like a big birthday even though in comparison to last year's 21, it's not really. But wow, I really do feel older this year.

I have to be honest, Birthdays are a big deal for me. They have been ever since I was a little girl. My family always made a HUGE deal out of birthdays... lots of presents, fun parties and a day dedicated completely to the birthday boy or girl.

One of the first "newlywed culture shock" moments for me came 22 days after our wedding day. It was my 19th birthday and I was beyond excited for what my first birthday as a married woman would bring. I woke up full of expectation... and was greeted with... NOTHING. I found out later that birthdays weren't quite the same big deal at Bryan's house growing up as they were at mine. His family celebrated them, of course, but not quite with the same "shabang" that I was used to. Later
that day, Bryan presented me with what he thought was a spectacular gift.. a beta fish. Yeah, you guessed it. I was less than excited... although I wouldn't have let him in on that... I remember that even though I understood that birthdays obviously just took different priorities in our minds, I still felt pretty disappointed.

Well, now here we are 3 years later and Bryan knows me just a little better ;) He knows that birthdays are special to me, and let me tell you... this year he went out of his way to make sure this one was VERY special :)

I woke up on Wednesday morning to the sounds of sizzling bacon and soft music. Moments after I had rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, my handsome husband walked through the door with a tray of sausage, egg and cheese on a toasted english muffin, some bacon and a tall glass of organic berry juice. The tray was even complete with a single red rose in a beautiful vase :) Exquisite!

Our family sat there enjoying our special breakfast in bed! (Peyton thought it was QUITE the event!)

After breakfast wrapped up, Bryan gave me a kiss and told me to shower and dress for the day. "Take all the time you'd like" he said, "I'll dress the kids." It's been a long time since I've taken my time in the shower like that :) I even rinsed and repeated.... ;)

We spent the morning together enjoying each others company. I had a pretty bad cold, so Bryan told me he was going to keep the whole day low key so that I could enjoy it even being sick. Once the kids were down for their noon-time nap, we pulled out our favorite board game (Cities & Knights of Catan!... love it! hahah) and enjoyed a quiet house, each others company and some very good conversation. During our game, Bryan served me a light lunch of shrimp cocktail... (You have no idea how amazing that is for me! I LOVE LOVE LOVE shrimp cocktail, but haven't been able to have it since I've been pregnant!!) I enjoyed it so much! Dark Chocolate was a perfect dessert... After our game, Peyton woke up and Bryan announced to me that I wasn't to do anything with her. It was my "day off" ;) ;) He slipped away upstairs for a few minutes and when he came back down, he told me to head up to the bathroom. I went up there, and when I opened the door I was met with candles EVERYWHERE! The bathroom had been covered in rose petals and a vase of roses stood on the counter. Soft music played and the tub held a full bath of sweet smelling bubbles :) My amazing husband served me a glass of bubbling pomegranate-apple cocktail, handed me the latest issues of my 2 favorite fashion magazines and then told me he was headed back downstairs to take care of the kids. Again, "Take all the time you'd like" was his gift to me! I sunk into that tub, sipped on my drink, poured over my magazines and enjoyed a solid hour of PURE BLISS!

After emerging from my sweet smelling heaven, my mom came by to pick up the girls.... Bryan surprised me by taking me out to my favorite restaurant for dinner.. just the two of us :) It was absolutely perfect and blissfully romantic. After dinner, we browsed a few shops and I picked up a great pair of boots, a beach bag for summer, and a new book. We picked up the kids and headed home to our clean house (courtesy of my husband during my bath!)

Once the kids were tucked in bed, Bryan gave me one last gift. My absolute favorite perfume... Paris Hilton.  (who by the way, makes the most INCREDIBLE perfumes. Every single one of her scents are absolutely beautiful. Think what you want about her as a person, but she makes some incredible perfume!!!)

As I lay in my husbands arms that night, I couldn't help but be blown away by how blessed and cherished I truly am. We've come a long way from the beta fish birthday, haven't we?! I love that Bryan went out of his way to make each moment of my birthday truly special. I am loved... and I can't remember a happier birthday.

On This Day...

On this day, three years ago, I pledged my life to another. 

On this day, three years ago, I promised my love forever.

On this day, three years ago, I forsook all others.

On this day, three years ago, I began the rest of my life. 

Featured Blog: Love, Actually

I just love the concept of this, and am definitely going to be becoming a frequent reader over at Love, Actually! I also think it's great that you can submit ideas to their blog! How fun to have ideas coming from lots of different people! Talk about creativity!!! They also have a shop on their blog (Love Actually, Boutique) with some fun romantic items! The blog is set up so it's easy to find fun ideas that are right up your alley :)

I'm definitely planning on using this blog to plan my next date night!

Happy Birthday, My Love!

It's my handsome husband's 25th birthday today!

As most of you probably know, Bryan and I met in college. When I first got to BCOM, the last thing I was looking for was a boyfriend (and definitely NOT a husband!) I had my sights set on the mission field, with romantic dreams of living on a little island somewhere in my OWN hut in my OWN hammock ;) (I had a lot to learn haha)

I met Bryan early on and we became friends quickly, we loved hanging out with the same people and we played lots of sports together. It quickly became obvious that we had alot in common, and I was definitely attracted to him... but I didn't want anything beyond friendship. Bryan had other ideas ;) He pursued me quickly, and the way he asked me to date him was BEYOND romantic! I took some time to pray but after a couple days of praying and soul searching, I knew there was no way I could say no to this handsome man!

After our first year of college, we had to leave each other to go home for break. As we said a tearful goodbye, I boarded the plane and was honestly shocked at how truly sad I was to be leaving this man who had so quickly come to mean so much. I remember sitting in my seat as the plane was taking off, and I was listening to a Lifehouse CD. The song "First Time" came on and in that moment, as I cried and longed to be back with Bryan, I heard those words, "Looking at you, holding my breath. For once in my life, I'm scared to death. I'm taking a chance--letting you inside. I'm feeling alive all over again, as deep as the sky under my skin, like being in love...for the first time." I realized in that very moment that I was deeply, magically in love with Bryan Luke Flores and I never wanted to say goodbye ever again.

10 months after our first date, (2 months after that day on the plane) the man of my dreams got down on one knee and proposed at the waterfront (and of course it was SUNSET!) in my hometown of Burlington, Vermont. (he traveled all the way there from his home in MN to surprise me with a dozen roses and a proposal!!! oooo and of course, a GORGEOUS diamond ring!) 3 months later, we got married in the campus church where we met. 2 years and 6 months later, we're HAPPILY married and blissfully in love!

Just 7 months after our wedding, we knew we wanted to start a family. After less than 2 months of trying, we conceived our darling little Peyton Spring. We were overjoyed at the positive pregnancy test, and loved going through the whole experience side by side. Welcoming our little girl was just one more beautiful chapter in our love story.

Since we began our journey of parenthood, I have fallen more and more deeply in love with Bryan. He is the most incredible and committed father, and Peyton seems to think the sun and moon set with him! She gets this look of importance when she's in his arms!

 I wish that I could beautifully put in words everything I feel in my heart towards this wonderful man. He is my love, my teammate, my best friend and my safe place. I revel in having his arms around me, and I feel fully alive when I am with him. My heart is full of nothing but pure joy when I think about spending the rest of my life with him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, besides Jesus, and I daily marvel at how blessed I am to have been given such an amazing husband. I couldn't have asked for a better man by my side or a more wonderful, loving father for my babies.

I never worry about where Bryan will lead our family, or about the decisions he makes for us. I always can trust him to make the best possible decision, because I see him in the secret times... I see him on his face before God seeking His will for us, and that causes my heart to rest in his love and leadership.

Happy Birthday, babe. I hope you feel loved and appreciated, respected and adored on this day... YOUR day. Thank you for being my knight in shining armor, my rock, my best friend, and my home.

"I could write a million songs about the way you say my name.
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again." 
(-Brooke Fraser)

Learning (hard!) Lessons

This past week has been hard. But hard in a good way… if you know what I mean.

I’ve been struggling with homesickness quite a lot lately. And unfortunately, it has affected my entire outlook on life here.

My sister made a comment to me last week that really hit home. She mentioned that she feels as though I’m constantly pining for back home… and it makes her feel like I’m not happy to be here. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I have had a complaining spirit for the last couple of weeks since I’ve been here. I have been missing home, and I’ve also been focusing on the negatives of life here… instead of the blessing we’ve experienced since being here.

I realized though, that this isn’t just something that applies to being here in South Africa… rather, this negativity is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life. I’ve always wrestled with a “grass is always greener” mentality. As I look back through my life, I can see so many times where I wasn’t happy somewhere, but instead convinced I would be happier elsewhere. When I allow myself to walk in that negative mindset, I miss out on my own life.

When I left my sister’s house after she made that comment, I was launched into a time of self-examination. I went to bed that night, praying that God would do a work in me and that He would reveal to me the core issue so that I could deal with this ongoing problem in my outlook. He confronted hardcore the next morning with a parallel in my daily life that couldn’t have been more dead-on. There are times when my husband approaches me to “be romantic” (want to be sensitive in how I word this) and in my mind, it couldn’t be a more inconvenient time. It’s a time when I have a million reasons for why it’s just not a good time… the baby is about to wake up, I have food on the stove, I’m exhausted from running after a 1 year old and being pregnant… you name it, I have the reasons. But, thinking in my mind that I want to be a dutiful wife, I accept… but only in body. My heart and mind are elsewhere. I perform the act in order to fulfill my duty as wife… but my heart isn’t in it. This happened that morning…

A little later that day… I heard God remind me of what had happened with Bryan that morning. I heard Him say loud and clear, that that is exactly what I have done with Him. I have acted dutifully toward God. I have obeyed Him in body by leaving country and friends and family and coming here to South Africa, but my heart is elsewhere. But God “doesn’t want our burnt offerings, He wants us to know Him. He doesn’t want our sacrifices, He wants us to love Him.” (Hosea 6:6) God wants my heart, more than He wants my acts of service… just as Bryan wants my love more than he wants my begrudging fulfillment of a wifely duty. I went to Bryan and apologized and confessed my sin to him. I told him that in future, when I feel it is an “inconvenient” time… I will tell him I need a few minutes to get my heart and mind right and when I’m ready I will love him with every fiber of my being… I said the same to God. I got down on my knees and confessed my sin and I asked him for another chance… a chance to be here with everything I am.

I don’t want to be looking back one day on my time here in South Africa, and see days of negativity, selfish pouting and homesickness… I want to see productivity, love and LIFE.. a life that I LIVED and didn’t let pass me by.

My sister told me this morning that she has already seen a change in my attitude. That was so encouraging because I do feel that a change has taken place. But not a change that I have made… but a change that I know God has made in me. I am praying that He will continue to implement that change daily.

In the meantime, I am waking with the sunrise, and looking out over my new world with excitement and hope for what each day holds. Knowing that even if my day only consists of housework and caring for my child, that I can still please God and bring Him glory in that act.

My sister and I have plans for the young mom’s group in the works. There are 3-4 girls whose names have been given to us that live in Khayelitsha. They are between the ages of 16-18 and they all have babies. We are planning on meeting the girls next week some time and setting up when would be best for them to have our first study. We are planning for once a month at first, but we may change that eventually. I am so excited to know that there are girls who need our encouragement and support! Leigh and I can’t wait to lay out our vision for this group and to begin brainstorming topics to teach on and discuss.

ON A TOTALLY NEW NOTE………..

We had our ultrasound, and we are expecting ANOTHER BABY GIRL! We are so excited!!! Now my search for a midwife has begun!!! I’m excited to find someone and begin a relationship with the woman who will help deliver my daughter! Please pray for me in this process! I’ve chosen to go with a midwife this time around because OB-GYN’s in South Africa have a 95% C-Section rate (=NOT GOOD!)

Now we’re just praying about what we will name our new princess ;)

By the way, welcome to all my new followers! I’ve noticed a few of you who are new around here! Thank you so much for joining and I hope my stories about my life are encouraging to you! I look forward to reading your stories as I find the time.  I welcome comments always! I love to know  and “meet” who’s hanging out and reading about my life!

Oooo exciting fact… my sister and her husband have decided to spend a little extra and get high speed internet (a rarity here in South Africa!)… but they do video updates for their supporters so it’s totally worth it for their ministry. The great thing is that Bryan and I will get to use it when we are over there! So you can look forward to a few more frequent blogs from me!

Oooohhhhhhhhh and one more thing… please pray for my computer. Another missionary here tried to help me conserve internet time by turning off my automatic updates on my laptop… and she must have accidentally done something wrong because my computer won’t boot up now. It’s very hard because they don’t have Best Buy’s here or anything like that where I can just take it in and get it fixed… so I’m praying I’ll meet a nice Techie type person here who can help me out… VERY FRUSTRATING! Please pray. It’s hard not having my laptop and having to borrow Bryan’s all the time. Plus it’s just an expensive item that can’t just be replaced.

Okay… I’ve probably lost half of you by now!!!! Be Blessed!!!

Self RE Discovery and an Invitation!

I called this post Self Re-Discovery because I feel like that's the journey I'm on in my life right now. For the past year, my life has been basically CONSUMED in all senses of the word, with Peyton.

From the time I got pregnant in September 2008, my life has completely revolved around her. Any of you women who have been pregnant know that when you are pregnant, that's the story of your life for those 8-9 months. Everything you do is basically ruled by that pregnancy... what you eat, what activities you engage in, how you sleep, what decisions you make, how you move... everything! Then at 27 weeks of pregnancy we spent hours in the hospital running tests, praying and hoping that Peyton had not inherited my genetic heart defect. We pleaded with God for a healthy little heart. We walked away from that appointment finding that not only did my little baby have a PERFECT 4 chamber heart, but I had been healed of my congenital heart disorder as well! And then towards the end of my pregnancy I was diagnosed with Intraheptic Cholestasis which brought with it it's own sets of fears and dilemmas. I was up most nights with extreme itching all over my body, and had to fight fear on a daily basis as I knew that this disease could easily and quickly take my baby from me... leaving me to labor for a stillborn daughter. But praise God, she came bursting into this world healthy and perfect on May 29, 2009... but then of course, my life ceased to be about myself in a new capacity. My days were spent feeding, changing, feeding, changing.... attempting sleep somewhere in the midst of it. And then Peyton's weight gain issues took another toll on my heart. She stopped gaining weight from ages 2 months to 4 months. I feared once again for her wellbeing. We found out that my breastmilk had a very low calorie count and Peyton wasn't recieving the high calorie content that her body demanded from my milk. Formula supplements saved her life.

What I'm trying to say through that synopsis of my journey with Peyton, is that my life hasn't been solely about myself in a long time. Not that it ever really should be... I mean, I'm not here to promote selfishness. I am first and foremost a servant of Jesus, which requires me to be a selfless wife and mother. But.. that doesn't mean that I lose who I am in the midst of my calling.

So who am I? That's what I'm seeking to figure out again. I'm piecing together moments in my life to quilt my story. At the end of the day, although I am a full time housewife and mom, I still have dreams and aspirations. I still have conviction and desire... an innate sense of purpose and hope.

I have been reading the book "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. It has been healing for me thus far. I am only a couple chapters into it and I already feel washed, discovered and renewed.

It reminds me of the deepest desires of my heart... of the little girl who used to spend hours twirling in her frilly pink skirt to the music in her heart. A little girl who was captured by the wonder of catching fireflies and watching them twinkle in her palm. A little girl who loved to ride horses if only to feel the wind flying through her hair... wild, beautiful and free.

I have re-opened a part of my soul that I seem to have lost in the drudgery of daily life. Perhaps it wasn't lost... simply perhaps buried in circumstance. Hidden in responsibility under a pile of laundry and dirty dishes.

In opening this new chapter in my life, I am also opening a new chapter in my blog. I want this blog to help all of you women who read it... to re-discover yourselves. To remember what made you feel like a princess when you were 5 years old. To remember what it felt like to dream that one day you would be like Rapunzel in a stone tower... waiting to be rescued by the only man brave enough to slay the dragon. I want to take you through the pages of this wonderful book, as I uncover how I can still be that princess in my daily life.

Because the truth is, we all were princesses caught in a stone tower. But our prince didn't just slay the dragon for us. He took the fire for us. He died for us... and now he has gone to prepare a place for us. And one day He will ride in on His white horse and whisk us away to His castle! How beautiful that the deep desire of every little girl's heart is truthfully placed there by God because He will one day fulfill it!

I'm so excited to walk through not only this book, but also this journey with you. Will you join me, princesses?