I'm Changing My One Word.

This feels a little "illegal", I won't lie to you. But as I've been praying this past week of 2014, I've been feeling something impressed on my heart over and over. And it's not discipline.

As I've been worshiping and praying and just being with the Lord, I feel like He has been showing me something that He wants to work on with me throughout this coming year. Yes, I could definitely stand to gain some discipline in my life--and changing my one word doesn't mean that I won't strive for more discipline this year. BUT. There is something pressing on my heart that I believe is more the heart of what God wants me to FOCUS on this year. And that thing is "humility".

This is vulnerability, right here. But often, doesn't the most substantial and ultimately wonderful changes in our lives come from moments of vulnerability? I suppose this could be my first step towards growing in humility this year. By setting down the more surface level one word I had chosen and choosing to embrace the difficult one.

I struggle with humility in my relationships. I really struggle with the ability to apologize. To humble myself and admit that I was the one that was wrong. I have 2 people in my life that are teaching me humility in relationships on a daily basis: my husband and my daughter. Bryan and Peyton are two people in my life that are very good at humbling themselves and admitting when they've been wrong. They apologize and it's very important to both of them to find resolution for arguments and to move forward with a clean slate. It's been humbling for me because I am more one who wants to pretend it never happened rather than to face the facts head on that perhaps I made some mistakes in the conflict. It's my own pride. My own lack of humility.

I feel an urgency to grow in humility particularly as a parent. The ability to humble myself to my own children and let them know when I've been wrong, I believe can be a great source of freedom and oneness in a parent/child relationship. That humility brings oneness and that oneness brings closeness.

I know that by seeking to grow this year in humility in my relationships, that it will benefit my marriage, my parenting, my family, and really anyone in relationship with me. Of course, it won't be an easy pill to swallow. I'm sure it's going to be a difficult year of struggling with my own pride and in having to lay myself down in areas that are really uncomfortable. BUT I am looking forward to reaping the rewards of humility in my life and my relationships.

"But God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 

-Proverbs 3:34

One Word - 2014

Can you believe another year is already over?

I know it's been a while since I've posted, and I do have quite a few things to write about, so you can expect a few posts coming in the next few weeks as we kick off the new year. But there was one thing I needed to come on here and write about before the end of 2013.

I am looking ahead to 2014 and all that God will do in my life this coming year. It's time again for my One Word.

My one word for 2013 was "LEAN".  I was beginning the new year in the wake of a miscarriage, and everything in my life felt overwhelming. I felt that I needed the Lord in ways I never before imagined. I longed for His presence; I longed for His truth.

The song that got me through that time was by Laura Hackett, "You brought me to the wilderness when I will learn to sing. You let me know my barrenness so I will learn to lean."

I really did learn to lean on God in a whole new way in 2013. My husband and I stepped out and said yes to God on something that we had so many questions about. I went through trials and testings that I wasn't necessarily prepared for, but through it all, I learned to lean wholly on the Lord. His affirmation and His peace were my lifelines through difficulties. I leaned on Him. And He gave grace, love, teaching and truth.

This year I'm in a much different place. Time has strengthened me and a lot of healing has happened. We are settled in a new home, a new place with a new ministry. I feel as though this year I am walking into uncharted territory in my parenting. We will be welcoming another child this year (more on that later, I promise!) and we will be walking full fledge into homeschooling 2 children. I am learning to grow in my position as a wife and a homemaker and, as I find myself spinning many plates, I am learning to balance and to juggle.

All of that said: my one word for 2014 is "DISCIPLINE"

This year I want to become a better manager of my home. I want to gain discipline in all areas so that I can create space and time to pursue the things I enjoy, and the things that will bring my family joy. I want to slow down. I don't want to rush around, I want to slow down. And in order to do that, I need to grow in discipline. To make time for the important things, and to lose time for the unimportant. I want to gain the discipline to say no to the things that are unproductive and to say yes to the things that further my missions and my goals as a homemaker. 

So there you have it. Perhaps a little undramatic, but it truly is something I want to build into my life this year.

Thank you to all my faithful readers who stick with me even through the waxes and wanes of my posting. Hopefully through a more disciplined timeline, I will be writing on here much more often :) Look forward to a few posts with some new from me as the year begins! 

Happy New Year everyone!