Every Day in May: Biggest Fear

Well, look at me. I already have missed a couple days of the Blog Every Day in May challenge. But since you all already knew that would happen, I guess I won't apologize ;) I'll probably miss a few more too because my dear Mommy is coming to visit this month! So I, of course, will be busy loving on her and enjoying her company and blogging will probably take another notch down on the totem pole. 



Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

I think there's one thing that we're all universally most afraid of. (I think) and that's losing a loved one. That's something that I definitely think of often, and I imagine we all do. BUT since I don't love to dwell on the darkest parts of my fears, I'm going to go with a little bit more of a silly fear of mine.... but still a very, very valid fear in my life.

I am very afraid of throwing up.

Please, stop laughing.

No really, stop.

I genuinely am terrified of throwing up. Flu season is an all out terror for me. Any mention at a mom's group of another family having been ill the week before will literally send me running to my hand sanitizer stash. I freakishly wash my kids hands with soap and HOT water after any time spent in a nursery or play group. I am OCD about fully cooking meat and handling raw meat, etc. And I refuse to eat at any hole-in-the-wall restaurant I think may give me food poisoning. I'm really not sure what it is about throwing up that I hate so much, but I just hate it. Not just hate it though... FEAR it. Literally fear it. If I hear my kids make any sound even remotely similar to throwing up in the night, I get clammy.

I will say that thankfully my momma instincts have kicked in very well each time my kids have been sick and I've been able to step up and care for them as they've needed... but those have been my more challenging mommy moments for sure.

So go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's silly. But it really is a true fear for me. As in, it keeps me up at night often. I really have prayed about it a lot and I will continue too. So as silly as it is, it's a true fear.

Well, I feel awkwardly transparent now!!! But there you have it. :) 

Every Day in May: A Beautiful Risk

Lately I've been thinking that I want to blog more. So when I stumbled across the Blog Every Day in May link up, I figured this would be a great way to do it. Appropriately for me, I'm starting on day 4. I don't know how well that bodes for this challenge, but hey, here I am regardless. ;)


Day 4: "Favorite Quote and Why You Love It"
I probably couldn't have picked a harder day (for me) to start on. Quotes are sort of a thing for me. I have pages and pages of notebooks dedicated to my favorite quotes. I have old receipts, movie ticket stubs, and pages in books jotted with stand out words that mean something to me. This list could be ridiculously long. I really can't single any one quote out as an absolute favorite. BUT there is one that comes to mind as a quote I've loved for a long time. I honestly think if I ever were to get a tattoo, this quote would probably be it.

I love this quote because it represents the fact that most great things in life take some risk. I've taken some pretty dumb risks, but I've also taken some incredible ones. Some of my risks have ended in disaster, and others have ended in sheer beauty. But one thing they all have in common--every risk I've ever taken has taught me something. I've never walked away from a risk unchanged. Stepping out and taking a risk is scary.  I've had some of the best metaphorical moments standing at the top of a cliff. Standing up there, feet on the cold rocks, looking at the water below. You want to jump--you want to be brave--but there's that fear in the pit of your stomach that urges you just to turn around. Take the easy way. Forget about the thrill of what could be. I mean, after all, you really don't know if you'll have the best time of your life, or if you'll just belly flop.  But isn't the chance that it'll be beautiful, worth the jump? Isn't that why people who cliff jump keep on jumping? Isn't that why risk takers keep taking risks? And keep living the lives they were meant to? Taking risk is necessary to step out and live the life you long for. Taking a risk is necessary to follow God wholeheartedly. It's easier to sit on the sidelines. To slide under the radar. To live SAFE.  But letting fear hold us back from taking a risk keeps us from the breathtaking beauty in life. Sometimes you just gotta jump. Sometimes you have to NOT CARE if you belly flop. Sometimes you have to forget about the fact it might hurt. Sometimes you have to lose yourself in the good kinds of what-ifs and the exciting wonderings of what could be if you weren't scared of heights. Sometimes, you've just got to jump. All you've got to do is lift those feet. Give yourself a couple seconds of insane bravery and leave the rock. The great part about what happens next is all you have to do is fall.