Black Dirt.

I'm sitting here with an open window just behind my computer screen. I can see the glassy soldier blue lake in the evening glow of a setting sun. The grass is a lush green from a full day of downpours and puddles. The sky is gray but the sun casts a wealthy hue just over the horizon. The wind blows softly and all is just beginning to clear.

The dirt is black. Up until last week, the upturned earth out a very similar window where I sat was red. Red as bricks.

After almost a year of life in the South, the view out my window has changed. We moved back "home" to Minnesota. Back to the place we met, the place we fell in love, the place we brought home our first born. The one place I've lived longest in a full decade.

Changing your life is never easy. Saying goodbye that many times can't even be explained. Some may think that since we've moved so much, it's something we enjoy doing. It's not.

I'll say this once. We move, not for adventure, not of lack of maturity or responsibility, not of a whim, a restlessness or frustration. We move because we are following God. God is not concerned with my routine, my stability or my "roots". God is concerned with advancing His kingdom and I am a resource of His to be used in His way.

We moved here for my husband to take a youth pastor position at a small church in a small town. When I told God "I will go wherever, however, whenever and whyever" He took me seriously. Why was it easier for me to go Africa than to go to a small farming community in MN? God has his own plans. They are higher than mine. He doesn't need to follow my set of plans or my rules. He only needs a life surrendered to Him. His eyes SEARCH THE EARTH FOR HEARTS SURRENDERED.

There is a peace in obedience. A peace that even when you're criticized and laughed at and misunderstood, the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE is pleased. And everything else fades away in light of that awesome reality.

As I look out my window at the lake, the trees, the grass, the black as night dirt, I might as well be seeing the Promised Land. Because God has called me here and I need to ask no questions. And of course I doubt. I wonder. I hear the scoffing and and I read between the lines of skepticism and I lay at night and I wonder what we're doing here picking up our lives and leaving a career path for this... but then I remember... I was not made for here. What I invest in this life will be burned up and lost forever. What I invest in the next life is what will last and exist forever.

I cannot live for myself. It would be foolish to.

God has so clearly spoken that this is right. To ignore Him would be impossible.

When we get caught up in the glorious emotions that burn within God's heart as David did, we begin to see the tremendous unprecedented blessing and power God has planned for this hour in history. We lose our ability to settle for the same ol', same ol'. We burn like torches with strong vision as our fuel. We become people who contend for the power of God available to our generation. -Mike Bickle, "After Gods Own Heart"

Every Day in May: A Beautiful Risk

Lately I've been thinking that I want to blog more. So when I stumbled across the Blog Every Day in May link up, I figured this would be a great way to do it. Appropriately for me, I'm starting on day 4. I don't know how well that bodes for this challenge, but hey, here I am regardless. ;)


Day 4: "Favorite Quote and Why You Love It"
I probably couldn't have picked a harder day (for me) to start on. Quotes are sort of a thing for me. I have pages and pages of notebooks dedicated to my favorite quotes. I have old receipts, movie ticket stubs, and pages in books jotted with stand out words that mean something to me. This list could be ridiculously long. I really can't single any one quote out as an absolute favorite. BUT there is one that comes to mind as a quote I've loved for a long time. I honestly think if I ever were to get a tattoo, this quote would probably be it.

I love this quote because it represents the fact that most great things in life take some risk. I've taken some pretty dumb risks, but I've also taken some incredible ones. Some of my risks have ended in disaster, and others have ended in sheer beauty. But one thing they all have in common--every risk I've ever taken has taught me something. I've never walked away from a risk unchanged. Stepping out and taking a risk is scary.  I've had some of the best metaphorical moments standing at the top of a cliff. Standing up there, feet on the cold rocks, looking at the water below. You want to jump--you want to be brave--but there's that fear in the pit of your stomach that urges you just to turn around. Take the easy way. Forget about the thrill of what could be. I mean, after all, you really don't know if you'll have the best time of your life, or if you'll just belly flop.  But isn't the chance that it'll be beautiful, worth the jump? Isn't that why people who cliff jump keep on jumping? Isn't that why risk takers keep taking risks? And keep living the lives they were meant to? Taking risk is necessary to step out and live the life you long for. Taking a risk is necessary to follow God wholeheartedly. It's easier to sit on the sidelines. To slide under the radar. To live SAFE.  But letting fear hold us back from taking a risk keeps us from the breathtaking beauty in life. Sometimes you just gotta jump. Sometimes you have to NOT CARE if you belly flop. Sometimes you have to forget about the fact it might hurt. Sometimes you have to lose yourself in the good kinds of what-ifs and the exciting wonderings of what could be if you weren't scared of heights. Sometimes, you've just got to jump. All you've got to do is lift those feet. Give yourself a couple seconds of insane bravery and leave the rock. The great part about what happens next is all you have to do is fall.