Black Dirt.

I'm sitting here with an open window just behind my computer screen. I can see the glassy soldier blue lake in the evening glow of a setting sun. The grass is a lush green from a full day of downpours and puddles. The sky is gray but the sun casts a wealthy hue just over the horizon. The wind blows softly and all is just beginning to clear.

The dirt is black. Up until last week, the upturned earth out a very similar window where I sat was red. Red as bricks.

After almost a year of life in the South, the view out my window has changed. We moved back "home" to Minnesota. Back to the place we met, the place we fell in love, the place we brought home our first born. The one place I've lived longest in a full decade.

Changing your life is never easy. Saying goodbye that many times can't even be explained. Some may think that since we've moved so much, it's something we enjoy doing. It's not.

I'll say this once. We move, not for adventure, not of lack of maturity or responsibility, not of a whim, a restlessness or frustration. We move because we are following God. God is not concerned with my routine, my stability or my "roots". God is concerned with advancing His kingdom and I am a resource of His to be used in His way.

We moved here for my husband to take a youth pastor position at a small church in a small town. When I told God "I will go wherever, however, whenever and whyever" He took me seriously. Why was it easier for me to go Africa than to go to a small farming community in MN? God has his own plans. They are higher than mine. He doesn't need to follow my set of plans or my rules. He only needs a life surrendered to Him. His eyes SEARCH THE EARTH FOR HEARTS SURRENDERED.

There is a peace in obedience. A peace that even when you're criticized and laughed at and misunderstood, the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE is pleased. And everything else fades away in light of that awesome reality.

As I look out my window at the lake, the trees, the grass, the black as night dirt, I might as well be seeing the Promised Land. Because God has called me here and I need to ask no questions. And of course I doubt. I wonder. I hear the scoffing and and I read between the lines of skepticism and I lay at night and I wonder what we're doing here picking up our lives and leaving a career path for this... but then I remember... I was not made for here. What I invest in this life will be burned up and lost forever. What I invest in the next life is what will last and exist forever.

I cannot live for myself. It would be foolish to.

God has so clearly spoken that this is right. To ignore Him would be impossible.

When we get caught up in the glorious emotions that burn within God's heart as David did, we begin to see the tremendous unprecedented blessing and power God has planned for this hour in history. We lose our ability to settle for the same ol', same ol'. We burn like torches with strong vision as our fuel. We become people who contend for the power of God available to our generation. -Mike Bickle, "After Gods Own Heart"


Mrs.NatClem said...

Amen. I can echo fighting many of these voices & presumptions as we've followed God's leading. Usually seems to look little like the acceptable path our culture follows around us. You are blessed in following Him, wherever, whenever, whyever :) Encouraged by your obedient example.

Sam Baker said...

We miss your little family already! What a wonderful soul-moving blog.

Anonymous said...

Claire, I love your blog! Your words speak to me so much. Well, the Holy Spirit speaks to me through your words so much. You are awesome and such a godly encouragement to me. Thank you for sharing your heart.


The Fair Melissa said...

You want what God wants. And that's what it's all about, isn't it?! I know God has blown my expectations for what I thought "ministry" looks like right out of the water. But in the long run, I LOVE where He's put me .. and even now as we seek to find a new church and my life is a little unstable, I'm reminded of the track record I have with God. He is faithful. It's a marvelous thing to be completely open to Him. It really makes all things possible! I'm praying for you guys OFTEN, and love this new step of faith you have taken. I love how you referred to your new home as the Promised Land. What a great reminder. Go eat up that milk and honey ... God had such GOOD for your family!!! Love you!

Emily grapes said...

I hope you're settling in nicely to your new place! From a fellow constant mover, I understand your tiredness of it all. :)

Enjoy those gorgeous views.