Hunter's Birth Story & Journey Home (Part 1)

It's taken me 11 days to even tell you that my son was born. 

That's because those 11 days have been the most intense, most sobering, most heart breaking and yet most faith growing days of my life.

Hunter Zion Flores was born on Thursday, March 15 at 6:53 pm. 

He was born at 35 weeks, 3 days gestation.

He was 6 pounds, 4 ounces and 20 inches long.

One hour after birth, Hunter was taken to the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) in 

respiratory distress. 

As I write this post, he is still not discharged. 

Please join me in prayer that my son will soon be home in my arms. 

His journey is already a long one with many parts and pieces. 

I've only begun to scratch the surface of writing them down, but I know that one day I will want to remember. Not the heartache of it all, but the triumphs. 

I want to remember the faithfulness of God and the gentleness of His heart towards us in this time.

This is part 1 of Hunter Zion's story:

My darling little boy, 

I wanted to write this all out while it is still fresh in my mind. You are only 3 days old, and already so much has happened since your birth that is clouding my memory. I want to write this all down so that one day, we can read it together and I can tell you about the great things that God did in your life from the very start. 

You were conceived last August. Your life was intended to be, sweet boy. God placed you in my womb with His very hands and spoke you into existence. My love for you began growing the moment I learned you were inside of me. 

When your daddy and I found out you were a little boy, we were overjoyed! I don’t think I’ve ever seen your daddy stand taller! We were so excited to know that a son would be joining our family. We began praying that God would give us a name for you. A name that was strong and firm, that represented who you would be. We knew we wanted you to be Hunter. We loved the masculinity of the name and the way it rolled off our tongues. We loved that it meant seeker, pursuer. We began to pray to ask God what your middle name should be. We wanted a name that would complete your first name well. What would it be that you would seek? After what would you chase? One night, your father and I were praying about your life. God lead us to several passages in Scripture that talked about seeking God on his holy mountain. Mount Zion. We knew then that you would be called Hunter Zion--Seeker of God’s Holy Mountain. Pursuer of God’s presence. 

My pregnancy with you went well. I felt really good for most of the pregnancy and was enjoying feeling you move and watching you grow. Twice while I was pregnant with you, I did bleed a little bit and it frightened me. I didn’t want to lose you. Both times I got on my knees and asked God to keep you safe. Both times He responded and stopped the bleeding. 

You were such an active baby in my womb. I felt you rolling and kicking and flipping and punching. You got the hiccups often which were so fun to feel! I started to learn your patterns--when you would sleep and when you were most wide awake. After your big sisters were in bed for the night, you would come most alive. It was like you knew you had Mommy & Daddy all to yourself and were ready to show off for us! We loved that special time with you. 

When I was about 7 months along with you, I started to feel a little itchy. I was concerned because while I was pregnant with both your sisters, I had a condition called “Cholestasis” which made my liver enzymes go a little off balance. It’s a dangerous condition that, if not treated, can cause babies to die in the womb. I got tested for it, but was told that I did not have it. I breathed a sigh of relief, yet wondered why the itching continued. A couple of weeks later I asked to be tested again. I felt like the itching was getting worse. My doctors confirmed that yes, I did indeed have Cholestasis. (I was about 34 weeks along.) As the week went by, my itching only worsened. The medication they had given me wasn’t seeming to help at all, and I was miserable. I went for another test to check the levels of bile acid in my blood. We waited three days for the test results to come back in. Those three days, I didn’t sleep hardly at all. My skin crawled and itched so much that I tore into my skin trying to get relief. Through those days, however, I thanked God that you remained active and healthy inside of me. I went two times to have you monitored so we could confirm that you were still okay. You were perfect. On Tuesday morning, March 13th, my doctor called me to let me know that my levels were dangerously high. The risk level of Cholestasis dramatically increases at level 40, and I was at level 88. It was no longer safe for you to remain inside my womb. In order to make sure that you would be alright, they had to induce my labor. They wanted to wait 48 hours in order to give you steroids that would hopefully help in maturing your lungs. As soon as those steroids were given, they would induce. 

All kinds of thoughts began to run through my brain. On one hand, I was so excited that I would finally look at your face and hold you in my arms in only 2 days. But at the same time, I was terrified. I was only 35 weeks along… you would be born a month early. I knew that there were a lot of risks that went with having a baby so early, but unfortunately the risks were greater of you staying inside my womb. Although they can try, there really is no way to know for sure whether a baby with Cholestasis is going to live or die from one day to the next. The heart beat can be strong one day, and gone the next. For your safety, and for mine, you had to come into the world much sooner than expected.

I prepared myself for your arrival. I busied myself working in your room and eating healthy meals to prepare for labor. I prayed and prayed over you and dreamt of you each time I was able to sleep. 

On Thursday morning, March 15th, we got a phone call asking us to be at the hospital at 10:30 am. We kissed your sisters and left them with your grandma. We got in the car and prepared ourselves to finally meet our beautiful son. We prayed over you unceasingly. The sun was shining brightly and it was so warm for a March morning. 

When we got to the hospital, things were moving more slowly than we expected. It took some time to fill out all the paperwork, talk with the nurses and midwife, and discuss options for starting labor. We agreed to have my water broken and then we would see if labor would begin from there. I was 4-5 cm dilated and 80% effaced when we came in. Your head was at +1 station. My midwife broke my water and immediately I was exactly 5 cm and 90%. After my water was broken, we agreed to wait for labor. A couple of hours went by with nothing more than a few small contractions. We continued to wait. Your daddy and I walked around the hospital in hopes that would help things move forward. We enjoyed looking out the big windows in the birthing center and seeing the bright sun shine through the windows. 

Finally around 4:00 we realized that labor wasn’t coming as quickly as we thought it would. And because at this point, we knew it was safer for you to be out than in, we decided to start Pitocin (a drug that helps induce labor) Once pitocin began, labor came quickly and painfully. The contractions were fast and furious. I knew I wanted an epidural, but I wanted to wait. I was in so much pain, but I knew the pain was bringing you closer and closer to me.

Finally after a lot of pain, when the contractions were so close together that I could barely catch my breath between them, they ordered the epidural for me. I had a lot of contractions while they were trying to place it, which all made it very difficult to sit still. Finally, once the epidural was placed, I was able to lean back and focus on you coming into the world. I continued to feel my contractions, however, and the anesthesiologist confirmed that my body was moving faster than the epidural. You were coming quickly. 

Not long after, I felt ready to push. I pushed only three times, but it was fast and intense. Pushing you out was extremely painful and I couldn’t help but yell out. Just when I thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, I felt the rush of your body leaving mine. When the midwife placed you on my chest, I gasped at the sight of you. You were so beautiful. Your cries filled my heart with joy and I allowed my body to relax after all the work I had just done.

I cuddled you in my arms and cherished your scent and the feel of your warm little body. I hushed you as you cried and stroked your sweet head. We cuddled like that for about an hour. I didn’t tear at all when you were born so we were able to really enjoy that time together. Daddy kissed your head and we both gazed into your eyes. You were so alert and obviously taking in the sights of the new world around you. 

When you were about an hour old, the nurses agreed you should be weighed. From there, things happened so quickly. I remember rejoicing when they told me you were 6 lbs 4 oz. I couldn’t believe how big you were for being so early. I was so happy that you were strong. Then all of a sudden, I remember seeing more and more people come in to the room. My pediatrician was one of them. The next thing I knew, she was telling me that you had to be taken to the NICU. You weren’t breathing well. My intense joy suddenly turned to fear… Suddenly they were placing you in my arms and telling me to say goodbye. The tears fell as I kissed your head. “Probably 24-48 hours.” They told me. They might as well have said it would be a lifetime. My arms immediately felt empty and so did my heart.

Your daddy went with them to take you to the NICU. Suddenly I was alone with my midwife and your pediatrician. They were comforting me, patting my legs and telling me you would be just fine. My eyes blurred from the tears and suddenly the pain of the labor I’d just endured felt nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

I asked if I could go see you as soon as I was cleaned up. They said of course. As I was getting ready to leave, they gave me some medication through my IV to help stop the itching from the Cholestasis. As soon as the medication went into my IV, I started to feel faint. I couldn’t focus and I was so dizzy. I felt like I was going to vomit or fall over, I wasn’t sure which. The nurse helped me get back in bed, and I laid there, frightened and wishing only to see you.

After what seemed like forever,  I opened my eyes and felt like things were a little clearer. I was still feeling light headed, but I was better enough to go see you in the NICU.

To be continued soon in Part 2.

Cholestasis (a third time.)

It's been a difficult week.

On Friday night, I started itching a little bit. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was Cholestasis again. (for my newer readers, I've had this liver disorder in both previous pregnancies and had been praying it wouldn't return in this one. You can follow this link to find out more about this rare disorder.) I immediately called my doctor and asked them to order the lab work so I could find out if this really was Cholestasis. I went early Saturday morning for my blood work, but had to wait until Tuesday to find out the results. The strongest symptom of Cholestasis is INTENSE itching all over your body, concentrated on the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands. It's not like mosquito bites, lice or rashes. It's an itching that literally comes from the inside out and is intolerable. I literally have made myself bleed many times from scratching myself. The itching is worse at night, which has resulted in many a sleepless night.

On Tuesday I discovered that yes, I indeed do have the disorder again.

Please pray for my safety and especially little Hunter's safety. Cholestasis poses a risk of fetal death late in pregnancy. For this reason, my doctor's will induce labor no later than 37 weeks (March 26) for the safety of our son.  I also go for Fetal Non-Stress Tests twice a week to ensure that Hunter is staying healthy despite the disease. If he doesn't test well at one of these tests, I will be induced immediately. I saw Hunter on an ultrasound on Wednesday, and it was so reassuring to see him happy and healthy in my womb. He looks wonderful.

Remember that I have previously given birth to two healthy baby girls with Cholestasis so I am very optimistic about the outcome. I am thankful for doctors that are working overtime to ensure my comfort and safety.

I covet your prayers as sleep is elusive these days and it's hard to keep my mind in a good place. God has been good at keeping my heart and mind in perfect peace, but I will admit, I have never struggled so much to keep myself peaceful and joyful. This week has been one of the most trying and difficult ones of my life. But God is good and He is providing so much comfort through the help of my husband and parents and wonderful friends and the joyful love of my two beautiful daughters.

Thank you all for praying!

Photo Dump

I'm feeling tired lately. Happy, thankful, at peace... but tired. I'm officially in the EIGHTH month of pregnancy and I'm feeling it! I had my 32 weeks appointment yesterday and was a little nervous about it because I've been having some contractions and pain. My OB checked my cervix and I'm 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced... but she's not concerned. She basically said that if this was baby #1, I'd be in the hospital, but with baby #3 we can really relax and bide our time. I'm to take it a little easy, but thankfully no bed rest at this point :) She will check me again in 2 weeks and we'll talk again from there. I'm so relieved that I'm not on bed rest again! I can't even imagine trying to do that with TWO kids! Doing it with one was difficult enough last time! So little Hunter is healthy and strong and staying put for now :) I'm over the moon!

I'm tired and uninspired, but I thought I'd throw a few photos at you since I'm normally so bad about doing that :) 

MY BIRTHDAY IS ON FRIDAY! I'm BEYOND excited! My amazing husband already got me a gift................. the cutest slippers EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. They are seriously amazing and don't ever leave my feet now. I'm in love... with both the gift and the giver :)

 My little dolls LOVE their nightly bath. It gets them all squeaky and ready for bed and they love having "picnics" and drinking up all the bath water *gag!* I just love watching the two of them playing happily together and splashing with each other :) I love their friendship.

Horsey rides with Daddy are ALWAYS a highlight!!!!! I'm so thankful my girls have a daddy who really knows how to make life fun for his little ones. He's certainly the hero around here :)  He's been doing TONS of work on our house lately and it's coming along so quickly again! (for any newer followers, we are renovating the house we're living in and it's been a long process!) He's been putting up a lot more trim which helps make the house look so much more clean and finished. The girls love helping him work, and I love watching him :) 

(sorry there's marker on her face! compliments of big sis!)

My poor Britany has been through almost every sickness in the book this past month! Her nose is still running a bit, but thankfully she's doing much better lately than she was for a while. It's sooooo good to see her wrinkly smile lighting up her face again :) *sigh* I love this princess!

Big sister is growing up SO quickly! She's becoming more and more obedient (DELIGHT OF MY HEART!) and is entertaining us constantly with her bubbly personality. She comes out with the funniest sentences and I love hearing her babble on and on! She says John 3:16 from memory every night and loves to sing all her favorite songs over and over again. She counts very well, draws amazing pictures (that actually really look like what she meant to draw!) and can spell her name. She also can pick out several letters from words. She impresses me with how she remembers animals, shapes and colors too. I'm so proud of her and her excitement for learning makes me excited to be her teacher :) Life is never boring with this one around!



Well, last but not least........... an image of our VERY messy play room after a day hard at play. I often can get a headache looking at a picture like this, but I want to remember it this way........ because this picture shows that my children have a good time :) And truthfully, so do I!

Have a blessed Monday! 

31 Week Bump Update & Morning Sunshine

Sorry this is a TERRIBLE quality photo.. and it's really JUST my belly haha.... But there it is... my belly at 31 weeks  with little Hunter :)


How far along are you? 31 weeks and 1 day :)

How big is baby? About 3.9 lbs (the size of a head of lettuce, lol)

Weight gain? 25 pounds (shudder!!!)

Maternity Clothes? more every day :) I still have a pair of jeggings that aren't maternity that I wear often, but more and more my maternity pants are calling to me! They are just so much more comfy! And I've definitely taken to wearing sweats more around the house :)

How are you sleeping? I've been sleeping well at night (aside from getting up a lot to pee!) but it's hard to get naps during the day. My body begs me for them, but it's not always practical with 2 little ones around. I try to nap when I can though, even for a few minutes at a time.

Movement? As with all my babies so far, YES! Lots and lots of it. I never have to wonder if he's in there... little Hunter is always reminding me of his presence with lots of rolls, kicks, jabs and flips! He does seem to settle at night which makes me hopeful that he'll be another good sleeper like Miss Britany :)

What I miss: I miss being skinny! Always! But beyond that I miss being able to accomplish all the things around my house that I'd like to. We are still very much in the renovation phase with this home and there are SO many little projects that I'm dying to get my hands on. But a lot of them have to do with painting, and even though I know they make paint with much milder fumes these days, it's freezing cold and the fact that I can't even practically crack a window while I paint makes me too nervous to do it. I'm looking forward to being able to get cracking at my to do list once Hunter gets here (whenever I have time between chasing 3 kids, of course!)

What I'm looking forward to? My mom is throwing me a baby shower on March 9th! I'm so excited! I can't wait to get together with some of my girl friends and get excited about this new little life inside me! And we are slowly but surely preparing Hunter's room and it's getting me really excited to meet this little man.

**********

We are finally on the upswing from all the sickness that has been in our home! Both girls are on antibiotics for ear infections, and I'm glad they're on the road to recovery. 

I'm so thankful for the sunshine that's been pouring through my windows lately. The warmth of its rays remind me that there is a spring to every winter and a hope with every morning. As I reflect on the past few "seasons" of my life, I'm so thankful that God has been by my side through each step. He has used every moment to lead me to where I am right now, and I am so at peace with that. I have daily frustrations and disappointments, but the overwhelming sense of peace that "surpasses understanding" is ever present. God is constantly opening my eyes to new knowledge. I am learning to slow down in the crazy moments and seek quietness. I am learning the all important lesson that sometimes I need to stop being such a Martha, and practice being a little more like Mary. I have a tendency to rush around my home like a mad woman cleaning and cooking and preparing and........ and putting the emphasis on the temporary rather than the eternal. Because in the moments when I simply sit in His presence, sipping a cup of hot chocolate and feeling the warm sun on my face... those are the moments that will last. The floor will always need sweeping and the dishwasher will forever need unpacking. But the tenderness in my heart towards my Lord can easily be lost. I must submit myself daily to tending the fire of my soul. I must practice wonder and dwell in hopefulness. I must set my hands to a different "plow". Set aside the sponge and the polishing rag and pick up the Word and the praise. God will meet me. And my home will run all the more smoothly as a result. These are the things I have to remind myself of constantly. But praise God, He is patient. 

Our Son's Name

It's Christmas weekend, so this will be a very quick post. But I wanted to tell you all that we have named our son! 

I can't wait to hold him in my arms and speak his name over him as his eyes are on mine. 

22 Week Bump Update

I'm not the greatest at getting someone to take belly pictures of me... so it's more like "Oh! I'm a new week today! I better quick snap some pictures of my belly!" and then I run to my full length mirror and snap a few quick shots of my belly for the record books :) I want to be able to show my children one day what they looked like "in-utero" ;)

haha, do you like how my bed is un-made in the first picture and then made in the second two? Classy, right?! ha!

How big is the baby? The size of a papaya!! A pound already :)

Weight Gain: my home scale says 12 pounds so far. The Doctor would say less, but I'm a realist here so I'll go with my home scale since I'm weighing myself here more regularly ;)

Maternity Clothes? A little of both. I'm wearing some maternity jeans, but some of my maternity jeans are still a little too big. I'm still in a few pairs of regular jeggings from PacSun. And shirts are a big mix. Just depends on the fit of the shirt. I have a few trusty maternity shirts, but other than that I just improvise from what's in my closet. In the picture above nothing I'm wearing is actually maternity. I definitely love to come home though and throw on my yoga pants. Soooo comfy :)

Sleep?  Thanks to my Leachco maternity body pillow, I've been sleeping like a dream this whole pregnancy! Now if only I didn't have to get up to go pee a million times a night.............

Best Moment of the Week? I keep a "Mother's Journal" for all my kids (a place to write my thoughts and dreams for them during different stages of their childhoods.. starting during pregnancy and I think I'll probably give to them at either graduation or their weddings) and I started writing in this little boy's journal this week. It felt so good to write my thoughts to him and take time just to day dream about his coming... it can be easy to get caught up taking care of the other two, so it's important for me to take those moments just to single out this little man and give him some love :)

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving lots of grapefruit, still cereal and salty snacks like chex mix. Bryan got some jalapeno cheesy bread the other night and when he heated it up and I smelled it it made me feel SO sick! So that's a definite aversion. ha! glad to know I can check jalapeno cheesy bread off my list, lol.

Gender: BOY!!! still in disbelief on that one :) but can't wait!

Movement: Lots of kicking all the time. Just recently the movements have moved from low in my abdomen to the center of my abdomen. And I'm starting to feel kicks in several places at once, making me know that my little man is exploring the use of his hands and legs!

What I miss? Laying on my belly, playing more actively with the kids and wearing all my adorable little clothes!!!

What I'm Looking forward to?  CHRISTMAS! I'm really excited this year. It's so fun this year because Peyton is really starting to be more into the excitement of Christmas. I love wrapping the kids presents and thinking about how excited they'll be to open them. And it's been so exciting to teach Peyton the true meaning of why we celebrate such a special holiday. I'm looking forward to picking a name for this little boy! Bryan and I have tossed ideas out there, but we haven't really settled on any certain name. I'm looking forward to being able to call him by name and be able to imagine him even more as a part of this family. And of course, in the longer term, I can't wait to meet this little man!

Hope you all have an incredible Sunday!

20 Week Bump Update: GENDER REVEAL!

Sorry to keep you all in suspense!! (although if you follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook, then you already know the news!)

Well, I'm 20 weeks pregnant! We had our ultrasound yesterday morning! I had butterflies all morning long and I found myself dying for the minutes to pass by so it would be time!

When I got to the doctor, I found that I was actually 45 minutes early! I had the wrong time! haha, but they saw me a little earlier anyway so it worked out okay :)

When we got into the ultrasound room, my doctor came in and casually asked if we wanted to know the gender (OF COURSE!) she put the wand on my belly and immediately said, "Well, the legs are pretty close together. Let's see if we can sneak a quick peek." Then she sort of held the wand over one spot for a few minutes going, "Hmmm. Looks suspicious." Bryan and I were both like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? then she says, "I see a suspicious bulge you probably haven't seen on an ultrasound before". Then she just continues with the ultrasound! Finally we were like, "Um, what is it?!" and she goes, "Oh it's a boy!" haha! It was such a weird way of telling us that Bryan finally said to her, "How sure are you?" and she goes "Oh, 100% that's definitely a little boy!" then she gave us another very clear shot so we would be convinced ;) We were both RADIANT! We are soooooooo excited to have a little boy on the way!

I am still in shock! I think having 2 girls already, I was just sort of expecting that this one would be another girl... but secretly, I was really, really hoping for a little boy! AND THAT'S WHAT I GOT! I can't wait to meet our little man :) It's still sinking in though! It really started to sink in when my mom and stopped by the mall after and I started letting myself linger over the racks of little boy clothing :) I made a couple purchases:

The jury is still out on a name, but we are SO excited about our sweet little boy :) I'll let you know when we decided what his name will be! It's so fun to now say hello to my little man and to dream about what he'll be like :) I'm now able to pray much more specifically for him as well which is so fun! 

Unfortunately the ultrasound pictures didn't come out as well as I would have hoped. With Peyton I was in Minneapolis and with Britany in South Africa and both places had much more advanced ultrasound systems than they do here in Vermont. We really didn't get a clear profile shot or anything like I was hoping for  :-/ But my favorite picture of the day was this one: 

Isn't it great? Bryan is very proud already of our little football player :) (disclaimer: although of course we will love him just the same even if he doesn't choose to follow in his daddy's footsteps athletically!!!!!!) But I just love that our little man already has his hand perfectly cupped as if he's preparing to throw a pass! Little Quarterback, perhaps?!?!?!

Well, I'm off to get some rest :) This little boy is a sweetie, but he makes momma tired with all his growing!

Oh that reminds me... He's 11 ounces big :)

19 Week Bump Update

Me at 19 weeks... haha yes, I know, there's no belly. Whew, I need to get better at the belly picture taking!!!

Baby Size: Summer Squash! 6 inches long :) Baby is starting to THINK and to LISTEN. Only 10 more days until we know if baby is a he or a she!!

Symptoms & Cravings: Had a mini bug this week which was no fun :( Still lots of cravings--mostly cereal. Had a crazy random craving for pizza last week. Baby is moving A LOT these days and I love the feeling! I'm still so tired so I've been doing my best to make time for naps here and there!

Something you miss: Being skinny! All the gorgeous fall/winter fashions that are coming out keep making me miss my flat stomach and skinny hips. I feel like I'm missing out on some seriously cute fashion! Went shopping with my mom and my brother yesterday and I felt like an outcast back in the maternity section :( Ah well, it just makes it all the more fun when pre-baby body comes back!

Milestones: I had my doctor appointment this past week! Baby's heartbeat is 140 bpm and strong :) Baby is healthy... however... I'm dehydrated which has been causing mild contractions! So I left the doctor's with orders to drink, drink, drink! I'm doing my best!

Weight Gain: Up from 2 weeks ago! Weight gain is now 7 pounds!

Looking forward to: The same thing as last time! FINDING OUT BABY'S GENDER!!!


I'm so excited for Thanksgiving this week! I love this time of year :) I'm honestly really disappointed that there's no snow yet because I want to put my tree the day after Thanksgiving, and I just can't imagine doing that without snow! I love to turn up the Christmas music while I decorate and that just feels wrong when it's sunny and 50 (which it's supposed to be on Friday!!) Ah well, I"m sure the snow will be here soon enough :)

Daddy and Britany enjoying the fall leaves :) 

I can't believe that my baby Britany is going to be one year old in less than a month! Time flies when you're having fun :)

Beautiful Britany - 11 months old!

And then there's sweet Peyton, who never fails to make me laugh! 

Ever joyful Peyton - 2 1/2 years old

And there's a peek at week 19... for all of us :) And we all cannot wait to find out if a baby brother or sister will be joining us! Peyton changes her opinion daily ;) today she said the baby should maybe be named "One".

It's so funny to see how she's reacting to this pregnancy! She didn't react hardly at all throughout my pregnancy with Britany because she was so young she didn't understand at all what was to come. This time, the fact that she's older coupled with the fact that this is her second time going through this process means that she's a lot more interactive about the pregnancy.. and I LOVE it! She loves saying hello to the baby (my belly!) and giving the baby kisses and hugs. It's so sweet to hear her think about whether she wants another sister or a brother, and to try to register the thought that the baby will be here in the spring :) She is such a great big sister as well. She is so tender with Britany and really goes out of her way to include Britany in whatever activity she's doing. I love seeing them play together! Finally Britany is getting old enough to actually play with Peyton instead of just watch her ;)

Alright, enough randomness for this post :) I promise another belly picture will come soon! Well, I don't promise, because I'm just bad at taking pictures in general... but I'll work on it!

Pink? or Blue?

Two and a half weeks! That's all that stands between me, and finding out if this baby is a boy or a girl! I'm so excited, I can hardly take it!!!

So it's time for you all to weigh in :)  What do you think?!?!

I added a poll to the top of the right hand column so you can cast your vote! Can't wait to see what everyone thinks!

Comment to tell me what your vote was!!!! And I'll let you know if Team Blue or Team Pink wins after November 30th!

17 Week Bump Update!

I've been wanting to do these bump updates ever since I've started seeing them all over blog world! How fun to remember your pregnancy week by week! I guess I'm a little late in starting... but better late than never ;)

Unfortunately I don't have a picture this week! I feel so bad, I only have a couple of bump pictures so far this pregnancy! Mainly because my camera has been dead and I wasn't able to find the charger (just found it this morning, YAY!) and because the pictures that have been taken are on my mom's camera! I have to get her to email them to me and then I'll add them :)

17 Weeks Pregnant!


Size of the baby: Our little baby is as big as a sweet potato! 5 1/2 inches long and weighing in around 5 ounces :)

Symptoms: Really exhausted this week. I came down with a cold so that's not helping things :( I've just been really achy and sore and starting to feel bigger which is probably adding to it all :(

Cravings: This whole pregnancy, I just haven't been able to get enough cereal! Haha! I just want cereal 24/7!!! Something about the cold cereal with refreshing milk is so yummy to me! Doesn't really matter what kind! Honey Bunches of Oats, Frosted Mini Wheats, or this week it's been Captain Crunch ;)

Something you miss: Having lots of energy... and being able to lay on the ground with my kids :) I have a lot of back pain and it's always worse while I'm pregnant so I have to be careful with sitting on the floor or any hard surface really. So lame... here I am at 22 and I can't sit on the floor! BOO!

Milestones: I've been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now (since about 13 1/2 weeks), but this week I started feeling baby move even when I'm not sitting perfectly still! So fun to feel those kicks and jumps :)

Weight Gain: So far 4 pounds.

Looking forward to: Finding out baby's sex on November 30! I can't wait to find out if our 3rd little lady is in there or if the first boy is on his way!

3 AM Musings on Life

I'm 11 weeks, 6 days pregnant.

Up at 3 am feeling ready to toss the contents of my stomach.

This child decided morning sickness was too ordinary. Night sickness sounded more his/her style.

Honestly, I'm thankful. Being sick in the mornings when trying to feed 2 kids breakfast would've been rough.

But sleepless nights are rough too.

Motherhood isn't easy.

But I didn't sign up for easy.

I signed up for love.

And I got it.

Three times over.

I can't wait to hold this child in my arms!

And while this is pregnancy #3, and I feel I'm more content in waiting the pregnancy out than I was with say, my first....

I don't think you ever lose the excitement of meeting this little life inside you for the first time.

No matter if it's baby #3 or baby #13.

Because it's a life.

A little life that resembles you and the other person you love the most.

A little life that will bring you joy, sorrow, laughter and exhaustion.

A little life that will bring glory to God, evidenced by the miracle of it's existence.

Giving life is a  precious gift that I hope I'll never take lightly.

Even at 3 am with a bucket by my bed.

The News is OUT!

Well, if you're my friend on facebook then you already know my big news :) (and what one of those doctor's appointments today was for!)

Baby #3 (eeeek!) is due on April 16, 2012!!! It's been so hard to blog in the past few weeks, knowing this big news but not really being ready to share it with the world :) Which is why I honestly just didn't really blog.... I felt so dishonest... haha. 

We were totally surprised by this pregnancy! But we know that this life is ordained by God and it certainly was no surprise to Him! I can hardly believe there is yet another life inside my womb. Life is such a miracle... such a gift. It isn't given lightly. 

I had thought I was due on April 22, but the ultrasound showed baby due on the 16th... a full week earlier than I had calculated! It's kind of nice to just sort of "skip" a week ;) Baby looks so beautiful! With my first 2, I had the initial ultrasound around 7 weeks, and baby always looks mostly like an oval at that point, so to see this baby was such a pleasant surprise for me. This baby truly looks like a baby! Seeing his or her little head and body was miraculous! I'm so blessed.

I've been REALLY nauseous this time around. Much more than with the first 2. Ick. Even as I'm writing this I'm so ready to just run to the bathroom! Still no puking, (thank God!) but just constant wanting to. Ugh. But God keeps reminding me... what's a little nausea compared to LIFE?! nothing, that's what!

I can't believe I'm jumping back into this world of pregnancy! With a 2 year old and 9 month old in tow. Whew, what a crazy life, huh?!

You know, on my way to my appointment today, God did such a work in my heart. I've been so shocked by this pregnancy and at times I've felt so overwhelmed by this new reality. But today, as I drove to the doctor (alone in the car... ahhhh.... kids were with Grandma!) God spoke to me in volumes. I was listening to the song "Beautiful Grace" by Tommee Proffitt and I just felt like I was falling in love with Jesus all over again. I was reminded of the BIG picture....and the fact that even if having 3 kids will be the most difficult thing I've ever done.... and even if I'm exhausted and nauseous while chasing around 2 little ones....and even if I cry some days because I feel like I'm drowning... what God is doing is SO MUCH BIGGER.

When Mary conceived Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, her reputation became crap. She was viewed as unfaithful, an adulteress and fornicator. She was questioned by her fiance. She was probably defamed, made fun of, and whispered about. But God's plan was SO much more important than all of that. She was probably so uncomfortable as she rode, 9 months pregnant, on the back of a donkey through the rough terrain. She was probably SUPER uncomfortable giving birth in a smelly stable.... but God's plan was BIGGER. His ways are HIGHER than our WAYS. His thoughts, than our thoughts. HE knows the big picture, which is why we have to trust Him even in our uncertainty. 

How dare I feel as though it's an inconvenient time to get pregnant. 

life is never an incovenience. 

it is always, only, ever a BLESSING. 

the fulfillment of a dream in God's heart to create another worshiper to glorify Himself. 

life is beautiful.

life is precious.

life is a gift.

How blessed am I to carry it inside my own body?